(forgive the long post...there's a lot to say!)
"Compared to what's coming, living conditions around here seem like a sleepover in an unfurnished shack, and we're tired of it! We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less. That's why we live with such good cheer. You won't see us drooping our heads or dragging our feet! Cramped conditions here don't get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It's what we trust in but don't yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we'll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming." -2 Corinthians 5 (Message version)
After we lost Grandpa on Monday...it has been nothing short of a miraculous, insane, tear-filled, heart gripping, abundant week. I'm not sure where to begin...but I know I need to put this down.
For those of you who don't know, I have some pretty weird dreams. The cool thing is...is that their "weirdness" has been rubbing off lately and has uncovered a realm where God has been speaking to me in ways i've never experience before. After hearing about loosing Grandpa...my heart hurt bad. Growing up in the same house as him my whole life, eating dinner with him every night...and kissing him on the cheek (routine) before I went to sleep...are all reasons why i've been having a rough time with this. BUT...when I woke up Tuesday morning the Lord reminded me of a dream He gave me that night. It went something like this...
All of my family was gathered on some hill that I didnt recognize. All of my aunties and uncles were there...I could see their faces. I couldnt see my cousins or other family, but I knew the were there. All of the ladies were wearing long dresses. In tan, peach, orange, colors...dresses that went down to the floor. We were all gathered to celebrate something...and then I saw Nana. More beautiful that I had ever seen her. She was walking around (walking! which I never saw her do!) and she was wearing a long dress also...she was in her 40s or 50s probably her most beautiful years on earth. Then...I realized why we were all there. We were gathered to celebrate a wedding - Grandpa and Nana we're getting married AGAIN!
When the Lord reminded me of that dream I was overwhelmed. The reassurance that came flooded me like a title wave. The gift the Lord gave me in that moment, the very vivid imagery He gave me of Grandpa marrying Nana again far surpassed any pain, or hurt I was feeling.
I was overjoyed.
This has been a week i'll never forget. I miss grandpa more today than I did yesterday...and I have a feeling that will only increase. But to have the Lord show me the BEAUTIFUL picture of a wedding day between Nana and Grandpa was the best gift he could have given me.
All that to say...the Lord has been working miracles through this process of loosing gpa...and my heart is overwhelmed, overjoyed, and overflowing. It's hard to put it into words, but I write with the hope that whoever is reading this can be blessed by the incredible ways the Lord loves His children.
Grandpa, I miss you so so much. I'll miss a lot of things about you...the way you would make your pancakes in the morning and pair them with your favorite coffee mug, the way you would just sit in your comfy reclining chair and listen to jazz music while you reminisce on days dancing with nana, i'll miss kissing you goodnight before I head upstairs to bed, i'll miss not being able to run into your room before I leave the house and say, "gramps i'm heading out with my friends tell mom where I am!!", I'll miss thursday night's when you would get dinner and it would always be Yorgos and I'd get a hotdog or a burger, I'll miss you always wearing hawaiian shirts with pants and a brown belt even if you were staying home all day, I'll miss the way you would tell stories and laugh in between almost every line...
the list could go on forever. and i'm crying so much I can't really see the screen so I'll stop here. ha
Grandpa you were one of my favorite people on this earth and I miss you so dearly.
But praise the Lord youre with Him now.
I find comfort in that.
Jesus, thank you for everything.
p.s that picture above are the cameras we found in gpa's room. An old film camera and a LEGIT polaroid. A little gift he left behind for me :)